Friday, August 24, 2012

To scale or not to scale...


Normally, I run and hide from the scale but I wanted to share with you all my weight loss struggles, achievements and road blocks.  Reason being, if you google weight loss, you usually see the same thing;  “6 months later”, “1 year later”, “9 months later”.  Yet what actually happens in between those months is where I have failed in the past.  I think it’s where most of us have failed, especially for those of us struggling with weight loss.
Every Friday I weigh in and tell you where I am at.  Well, today didn’t produce the numbers I was hoping to see.  Last week I weighed in at 211, today…..215.  Seeing a 4 lb gain when you know your diet and exercise that week has been butt kicking is like being hit by a truck filled with twinkies…..twinkies I didn’t flippin eat.  This is the “in between” I am talking about.  The set back everyone faces.  The point where I feel so defeated, confused and upset that I might as well just eat what I want and stop working out since I am going to gain weight anyway.  At times, I even took it a bit further and simply starved myself until I reached the weight loss numbers I was hoping to achieve.  Well, no more of that nonsense.

Seeing those numbers, I still couldn't help but to immediately start beating my brain with the million dollar question.  How did this happen?  My diet this week has been clean.  Breakfast, eggs and spinach.  Lunch, can of tuna.  Snacks, raw carrots and almonds.  Dinner, eggs, spinach and beef.  (I even ate grass fed beef.)  Crossfit, worked out 4 days.  (Hitting prescribed weight more than once.)  I am even able to fit in my old jeans now.  So where is this 4 lb gain coming from? 

There could be a ton of reason as to why the scale is saying what it is saying; recovering from bronchitis, muscle gain, change in diet for higher iron intake, being a girl, stars weren’t in line, and so on.  Point is, I know I did right by my body this week.  My diet, clean and healthy.  Workout, 4 days with prescribed weights.  Water intake, one gallon per day. Sounds pretty good, right?

As much as I would like an answer, I know I won't get one.  The question, the numbers, the scale will simply drive me insane.  So this time, I am letting it go.  I'm not ready to give up.  In fact, I am ready for the next WOD.  That is how much I have come to love crossfit.  Never thought I would love any workout, ever, but this is different.  The challenges, the people, the signs of muscle definition, 5 weeks and pants are much looser, old jeans can now be buttoned and the cherry on the cake…showing someone your WOD and saying “I did that!”.   

Regardless of what the scale said today and how deeply it cut me, I will continue to weigh in every Friday and share my numbers with you.  Who knows, I might be a “9 months later” huge weight loss story.  But even so, I really feel the events in between are just as important.  It’s those in between moments where I feel failure is created.  Yet this time I won’t let the scale throw me off track.  No way!   My love for crossfit simply won’t let me.   

Numbers shouldn't drive you, how you feel should inspire you.  
Anna Dubya

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