I love Thanksgiving; food, laughs, hugs, stories, family, friends, etc. I enjoyed the food for sure, but I made sure I didn't go overboard. But let's be honest, it is near impossible to not gain a little after such a food coma induced holiday such as Thanksgiving. I wanted to enjoy my time with family, so I put all diet and weight struggles aside and did just that.
My holiday was wonderful, but I could have never predicted how it would end. I always want to keep this blog positive and inspirational. To give back what crossfit has given to me. Yet, life has a way of throwing curve balls sometimes and I want to share mine with you, as hard as that is for me.
Soon after the holiday, we arrived home safe and sound. My mastiff, Lexi, joined us on our trip because I couldn't bare to not have her around. I rescued Lexi from a kill shelter when I stumbled on her profile that she was to be destroyed. I drove 2 hours to rescue her and found more than just a fur baby, I found a big part of my heart. After curing her many ailments, the vet also found she had a very strong heart murmur. Xrays and an echo cardiograph later, we found she had holes in her heart. But as amazing as she was, never showed signs of having a sick heart. Unable to afford heart surgery, we gave her lots of love instead and hoped and prayed she would prove the vet wrong.
The night after we arrived home from our trip, I noticed she wasn't herself. That could have easily been due to the tons of people food my family fed her, so I just gave her canned food and helped her on the couch to relax and watch a movie with me while her head rested on my lap. After the movie, we all went to bed. At 6am I went to the bathroom and came back to bed to give her my usual morning hugs and kisses, but as soon as I touched her I knew what had happened. I tried shaking her awake, screaming "no!", but it was too late....she was stiff and I was on my knees at the bedside collapsed in tears. She looked like she was just sleeping comfortably in bed, so I knew her heart just stopped beating somewhere during the night.
After she passed, I had the hardest time doing anything related to my normal daily routine. For the first time, the thought of going to crossfit made me physically sick. Something I love so dearly, it just didn't make sense. Yet, I still went because I knew I needed to. Then one day, I opened up to my crossfit family about my current experience after our WOD and they helped enlighten me as to why I was getting so physically sick. The routine was I go to crossfit and come home after, finding Lexi wagging, jumping and waiting for me to feed and play with her before having to go to work. It was that daily routine that was making me sick because a huge piece of that was now missing. My Lexi.
Knowing "why" everything, not just crossfit, was making me physically sick helped me recover faster and ease my heart. Crossfit continues to surprise me. While I wanted to use it as a tool to improve my health and get back in shape, it has given me so much more. It has given me the strength to want to know more about me. Why I do what I do, why I feel what I feel and how to improve all of that. I now understand more of why I have been derailed so much in the past with getting into shape. My loss created a deep depression for me, which I compensate with laziness and food. But my crossfit family helped me make a big realization that has put me back on track and I am forever thankful for that. I miss Lexi with all of my heart, but I am trying more than ever to flip and see the positive. Not the loss but rather the gain. She gave me so much happiness, love and laughs...for which I am eternally grateful to have had her as part of my life. I miss you sweet girl! Here she is...
Ok, must change subject to stop from crying. Today I was measured, which I must say has the oddest results. Some small gains in areas but also losses in others that I wasn't able to lose before. Here are the results:
|Date||Chest||Waist||Hips||Right Thigh||Right Arm||Weight|
|July 20, 2012||47.5||46.5||51.5||29.5||13.5||223.2|
|August 31, 2012||46||42.75||50||29.3||14||209.3|
|Total Loss in 6 weeks||1.5 in||3.75 in||1.5 in||0.2 in||-0.5 in||13.9 lbs|
|October 19, 2012||45.5||39||49||29||14||197.5|
|Total Loss in 3 months||2 in||7.5 in||2.5 in||.5 in||-0.5 in||25.7 lbs|
|November 30, 2012||45||39.5||49||27.2||13.2||203.7|
|Total Loss to date||2.5 in||7 in||2.5 in||2.3 in||0.3 in||19.5 lbs|
Finally a loss in my arm and legs, and a pretty darn good loss in just 6 weeks! I went from gaining 1/2 an inch in my arm to losing that gain and an additional .3 inches! Isn't it amazing that although my weight looks to have increased, my measurements say otherwise? This is why I say that although a scale helps give you an idea, get measured!!! I have also changed my WOD approach last week, thanks to some great advice from the crossfit family. I gain muscle easily and honestly I needed to improve my cardio levels. So, now I use much lighter weights and go as fast as possible. Even taking up jogging. I plan on keeping that up for a couple of months and will let you know where it leads me.
I dedicate this blog entry to my fur baby Lexi. Thank you for giving me so much love, making me laugh and being my cuddle buddy. You are greatly missed and loved by all!